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She used to sing that song to tease me (because I don’t like that song). But I am getting used to it and miss her whenever I hear that song.

Sardar: India ..

Boss: which part?

Sardar: What ‘which part’? Whole body was born in India .

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2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.

Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.

Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

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Sardar: What is the name of your car?

Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with ‘T’.

Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

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Sardar: U cheated me.

Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.

Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is ‘All India Radio!’

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Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?

Sardar: An old king’s skeleton.

Tourist: Who’s that smaller skeleton next to it?

Sardar: That was same king’s skeleton when he was a child.

And most people have already got used to Paying and Paying (PAP).

Not only do you have to pay, you Pay Until Bankrupt (PUB).

If that’s not enough, somebody still Purposely Wants to Dig (PWD) and get
more from you.

So what more can you do when you are in the Money Only Environment (MOE) ?

With the current Mad Accounting System (MAS), you are forced to Pay the Sum Ahead(PSA),

Which will leave some people Permanently Owing Some Banks (POSB) .

And forced to live on the Loan Techniques Always (LTA) system.

When you fall sick and happen to be admitted to a Money Operating Hospital
(MOH),
You might be able to use your Cash Prior to Funeral (CPF) fund.

If you are out of luck, you may meet doctors who Never Use Heart (NUH) to
treat you, And you will be Sure to Give up Hope (SGH).

To help ease the traffic, motorists have to pay Cash On Expressway (COE).

If that doesn’t help, they can always Eternally Raise Prices (ERP) on the
roads.
If you don’t own a car, you can always make a Mad Rush to the Train (MRT) , OR get squashed in a bus Side By Side (SBS).

Lastly, under all these pressures, there are not many places we can relax,
Not even the good old place we used to go because it has become
So Expensive and Nothing To See Actually (SENTOSA)!!!

Note: Retrieved from forwarded mail.

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan
(anyone)! It’s urgent.

Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone!
But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that
our brother Noe Wan (no one) was involved in an accident.
Noe Wan (no one) got injured and now Noe Wan (no
one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Aver Wan (everyone) is
on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the
hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter!

You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Lee (Sorry).

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

All the best,
Sam Wan

Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I’m dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you’ve just twisted the figure,
the answer is 6!!

3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:
Mr. Bean: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!!

4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!

5) Marriage:
Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.

6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:
Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it’s a horror film. I didn’t
see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you take anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.

7)DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom’s dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:
Colleague: Sorry I’m late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs
because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That’s alright, me too…I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.

9) Spelling lesson:
Mr. Bean’s Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful….is it one
c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!

” Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money “

First law of Love:

” A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girlin love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent (brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. “

Second law of Love:

” The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy isdirectly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy andthe direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. “

Third law of Love:

” The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping.”