There’s a guy who owns a parrot which never talks. So he goes to the pet shop to get some advice. The pet shop owner says he knows exactly what the problem is.

“Your parrot has too much hook in it’s beak, what you have to do is file it’s beak back and it will be able to talk just fine. You’ve got to be careful not to file it too far though, because if you take too much off the bird will drown the first time it has a drink.”

Continued…

These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.

“My son Kent,” says one, “has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He’s so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift.”

Continued…

A guy goes over to his friend’s house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.

” Hi, is Tony home?”
” No, he went to the store.”

“Well, you mind if I wait?”

Continued…